I posted that I have a good man on face book awhile back. Master just asked me if I know what makes a person good or if I was just trying to placate a situation. I don’t remember what prompted the post at the time.
I told him what I thought made him a good man – well, here is the conversation:
Master: a long time ago you wrote a rather generic statement…that you have a good man, do you even know what makes that person good? or was it just to placate a situation? i completely forgot to ask. mostly because i forgot.
me: What makes you good – when it comes down to it, you’ve been by my side, gone through the rough times with me and you do take care of things
When you lighten up and aren’t so angry at me, at the world…you’re funny and I love being around you. You try to do the right thing, even when it’s not easy
Master: thats shit you are supposed to do, responsibilities dont make a person
me: No, but how you handle them shapes how you are as a person.
Whether you step up to them or don’t.
Do they, in and of themselves, make you who you are? No.
You wanted to know if I knew what made a good person – all those things, to me, make you a good person.
What makes you fun? Your personality – when it shows through the anger.
The fact that you are there for my kids…trying to raise them with me…
that you handle the responsibility – and still try to take care of other people.
You step up to the plate with your own kids – when you’re able to – and I know you’d do more if you could.
Master: that’s all basic responsibility shit
me: And it’s all part of what makes you a good person.
Master: that just shows i was raised somewhat right
me: Alright – since what I think makes you a good person isn’t what you think makes a good person – what is that makes a good person to you?
Master: not what they are supposed to do but the things they do for themselves…and the people around em the shit thats a choice, you have kids you fucking raise them right, thats not an option…thats a duty, paying bills and shit…duty…
me: …but, my kids aren’t your kids – and you choose to help with that.
What do you do for me that makes you a good person? You’re there for me. You help me meet responsibilities.
You make sure I have what I need and try to get the things I want
Master: the generic shit is just that, basic responsibility, actions by choice matter. because paying bills…raising fucking kids and other normal house shit isnt worthwhile, its shit we have to do
me: I’m not entirely sure what you want me to say – all the stuff you do for me falls under what you consider basic responsibility.
Master: that says enough, besides the shit we gotta do, there isnt a damn thing you can think of otherwise…cept the generic shit we have to regardless
me: What do you do that doesn’t fall under that? You try to get me what I want/need – but you say that’s basic generic stuff. You cuddle me at night – which makes me feel safe and loved.
You were there when the kids weren’t able to come down and you took care of me – but that seems to be basic responsibility.
You try to help others – T, A, G, me….
You choose to do those things – you *choose* to take on additional responsibility with me. You don’t have to – you didn’t have to.
You choose to rise to the occassion and you choose to try and get the things I want as opposed to just the things I need.
So, yes…even though it’s ‘generic’ and ‘basic’ to you…all these things, to me, make you a good man.
When something is wrong, you choose to be there and help.
When the kids didn’t come down – you choose to be there, to hold me while I cried ..and even give me some leeway on things. I’ve been sick – you haven’t stressed about the chores and have let me relax and recover.
Again – probably all basic things to you, but to me, they make you a good man. To me, often times, they mean a lot to me. Fuck – you know just the simple act of cuddling me at night means the world to me…
It means the world to me when you encourage me, help me stay focused.
me: You wanted to know what I meant when I said it…and that’s it…all those things and more that I don’t know that I could name specifically – are what I meant. I meant you as a whole….you are a good man
me: And I guess – to put it simply…you are a good man because you are responsible and you are caring.
I guess, to me, not everything is definable. Everything I said, he came back with was nothing more than a basic responsibility. But, the thing is – he chooses to meet that responsibility. Not everyone does that. Is that simply it that makes him a good man? No. Heck, if it were that – anyone who’s responsible would fall under a good person.
What does he do for me? He makes me feel like he cares. He holds me at night and makes me feel safe. When it comes down to it, he does support me. He’s there for me.
I wish he’d be more encouraging sometimes, help keep me focused – but, that’s a wish.
Bottom line – even if I can’t explain it well, even if I can’t pinpoint exactly what it is that makes him a good man – he *is* a good man. All those things and more make him so. And I love him for it.
I will think more on how to define what makes a good person – what choices define that.